This reporter has come across disconcerting news after intercepting personal correspondence to Scott Gunn, President of Forward Movement. Lent Madness, supposedly a tool for learning about the saints during the time of Lent, is actually a front for a startling ecumenical power grab! A Methodist pastor in Waukesha, WI narrowly avoided bodily harm from a booby-trapped Lent Madness mug! To quote the Rev. Kris Androsky of First United Methodist Church:
"However, when my mug arrived, I was appalled that my ecumenical sense of duty was not reciprocated. I simply could not believe that you, personally, would do such damage to a new and budding ecumenical relationship! The mug was wrapped in approximately 25 layers of bubble wrap, yet the handle was still broken off of the mug. I've attached a photo for you to see that I am telling the complete and utter truth. It is very clear to me that you, personally, chose to send me a mug that obviously had an explosive device planted on it. I cannot think of any other possibility considering all the bubble wrap yet damaged goods. I can only thank God that the mug did not explode after I had opened the box as a shard might have flown into my eye and made me blind, like Lucy."